Devious Journal Entry
Aside from Selfish
Scrawls in the Sand:
A
poem for Candice
by Gregory Killam
One night I dreamed you
were walking along
the beach with the lord.
Rainbows from your lips
splashed scenes from
your life across the sky.
(In each scene I sort of
kind of noticed
footprints in the sand.)
Each new technicolor
scene was viscous
runny with fresh
printer's ink, hot from
the pipe dream presses.
Every pageant was
raw and wet and
could still change it's
underlying shape
as if
as if you had
you had maybe not
wanted to complete the
picture. Act. Don't say
cut
just
yet.
Leave room for the
clouds.
Leave room for the
black birds.
For they must come out
as well. You say:
“We can't just have
colors in a heaven-
proof house. I' does
not work that way.”
And yet inside the clouds
I see more rainbows
lurking and still more
refracted from the
black bird's wings.
And I know it can't be
And I hope it can't be
I doubt it is that you
just don't want to see
the ink sprayed from
these words. That words
can't do that and cover
and change and remember
and forget at the same time
The hour grows late
and sense starts to grow
nonsense as a weary
wageslave stubbles into
his five-o-clock shadow
(Hey, just in time to press
it to the cheeks of those
he loves the most.)
Today's colors have either
dried into memory or
merged in a mauve puddle.
And what have we
to show for it? Anything?
A cautionary tale or
a picture postcard?
I can at best wish that
everything has changed
just a little bit. Because
in a brave new world
that isn't so new at all
(and far from brave)
the giant leaps of mankind
are lost in our
own
small
footprints.
Blindsided by Blindness
It's hard to believe I've been inactive for so long. I honestly hope not much has changed in the core of this site's purpose: What makes Deviant Art great.
But I feel like I owe people an explanation for not being around for more than a year.
For those of you who are in the know, sorry if I'm repeating myself, but late in 2009 I was on my bicycle when I was struck by a construction van. The driver said he “just didn't see me.” It resulted in permanent nerve damage.
Sure, that's slowed me down, but what finally stopped me...well...to be blunt, I was going blind.
Blindness. For a photographer, painter, woodworker and writer, that was a nightmare. When I was first told about it I was in shock. The doctors and I couldn't figure it out. A thick layer of opaque goop was building up behind the lens of my eye. I was way too young for this. Then I spoke to my mother who had never told me before now it was hereditary.
I was angry. “How could you not have let me know this was something I had to be careful of?”
“I was hoping it might skip you. Besides, a simple operation can take care of it.”
“I can't have a 'simple operation'. I'm on Public Health.”
And so on.
It took me over a year to sort out the insurance, doctor's visits, and arrangements. Sure. Simple operation. For over a year, my condition got worse and worse. I couldn't leave the house without an escort. During the day, everything was such a glare that I couldn't see the color of stop lights to cross the street, and at night I couldn't see the street. It was like I was looking at everything through a thick layer of petroleum jelly.
For over a year, I was just trapped in my own head. I couldn't read or write. Woodworking would only have been an option if I wanted to lose fingers. I would put movies in the DVD player, watch blobs on the screen, and try to remember what the movie I had once watched looked like. I am honestly shocked I didn't go insane.
Two months now, and it's practically over. Two of four surgeries have been completed and I can now see well enough to do most things again. When I am in the kitchen, I can see the difference between my hand and a potato. When I go to the computer, I can actually see what's on the screen. And I have bought dozens of books.
I'm back.
Virginia: Dick Cheney, former Vice President, underwent a heart transplant granting him a few more years of precious life. Doctors say that the transplant was necessary as Cheney's last heart had become too black.
Pyongyang: North Korea declares it wants the United States to send it food. In exchange for this, it plans to launch a missile in the exact opposite direction of Washington D.C. That's not a joke. No, that's really their plan.
London: David Cameron thoroughly denies the statement by Peter Cruddas that a quarter-million pound donation can buy you access into political circles. A summary of Cameron's response was; "Politics does not cater to the rich, it has never catered to the rich, nor shall it ever cater to the rich."
Mexico: Ex-Nazi Pope Benedict visits this week and promises to help the country continue suppressing the rights of women and the LBGT community. In addition, he claims he plans to help stem the drug wars currently sweeping the nation. Possibly by forming a blow'n'weed for salvation exchange program.
Kandahar: The U.S. Military has declared; "We are truly sorry we gave a gun to a guy that the L.A. Times reports had a long history of alcoholism, violence, and abuse. Our bad. Here's $46,000 for each of the 17 people he murdered. Now go away."
Louisiana: CNN Projects that Rick Santorum has won the Bible Belt and will win the Republican nomination. Santorum claims: "I will do for the United States what I did for Pennsylvania." Pennsylvanians wince, remembering this was the guy that tried to remove the teaching of evolution in schools and who claimed President Kennedy's speech on the separation of Church and State "almost made him throw up."
Queen Charlotte Islands: A 60 meter long ship swept away by last years Tsunami in Japan was found to be floating off the west coast of Canada. Responding to this, Yoshihiko Noda and Stephen Harper have vowed to hammer out a free trade agreement. "We have concluded that both our societies are weird, but very friendly," both prime ministers said simultaneously.
Manchester: Queen Elizabeth II, as part of the Jubilee tour, gatecrashed the wedding of John and Frances Canning. No, I'm not making that up. How cool is that? The monarch yelled something about a "kegger" and then proceeded to pinch the groom's bum. Okay, that part I'm making up.
In corporate news, several pharmaceutical companies like AstraZeneca, Merck, and Targacept are declaring that antidepressants just aren't profitable anymore. "Frankly, we find this depressing, but we just have no clue as to how to deal with it right now. If only there was some kind of quick-fix...like a pill or something."
On wall street, conservative industrialists complained that President Obama is not doing his job to stimulate the economy. "The President has rebuilt the economy so that it's now mostly recovered from the crash caused by the previous administration. It is completely unacceptable to have a Democrat in office like this. Mark our words: Obamanomics will destroy us all."
In other business news, CitiBank is reducing it's holdings in Turkish company Akbank. Morgan Stanley Bank considers buying out CitiBank. London's NBNK banking conglomerate plans on buying Lloyds bank's holdings. Italy's Banca Monte has sold considerable parts of itself to J.P. Morgan and Credit Suisse banks, and a group of Bavarian banks has decided not to buy Bayerische Landesbank. All of this meaning absolutely nothing to 98% of the population that are starting to think that credit unions are starting to look better and better.
Three Things That Hunger Games Proves
1)We have lost the ability to protest.
Once upon a time great civil rights leaders walked through our streets and city halls. Whether you're talking about politicians like Thurgood Marshall or common men like Petey Green they accomplished great things with their words, demolishing injustice in their wake. Did last year's "Occupy" protests achieve anything else by comparison? It was more or less a grouple of angry people shouting:
"What do we want?"
"Mumblemumblemumble"
"When do we want it?"
"Now!"
It was so disorganized that we should have been ashamed. So many people had so many points that it was best termed "Gripe-Fest '11". Obviously by the timeline of the movie we have become so unable to protest we've forgotten things like the riots in Haiti, India, and France caused by hunger that started revolutions.
2)Adults can't read anymore
Get this straight. Books like Harry Potter, Twilight, and The Hunger Games were supposed to be meant for teens and pre-teens. Heck, Hunger games was first published in 2008 by Scholastic. Obviously these are popular books but when was the last time you heard the average adult discussing a (wait for it) book meant for adults? Whatever style you prefer, be it Jane Austen or Neil Gaiman, how about the common person raise their intelligence levels back up to be able to decipher something a little deeper than face value?
3)We have no more ideas
For years now it seems like Hollywood hasn't produced an original idea. The Hunger Games is falling right in step with that theme. If we aren't stealing movie ideas from our own past (21 Jump Street, Conan the Barbarian), we're stealing them from other countries (The Ring, Let Me In). Suzanne Collins claims she came up with the idea of The Hunger Games while "Channel Surfing", but all it really represents is a toned-down version of Koushun Takami's novel (and subsequent movie) Battle Royale; a much edgier version intended for a more serious audience that was published nine years prior to Hunger Games, with the English version coming out six years prior to Collin's work.
The way I see it people have compared contemporary civilization to Rome for centuries, anticipating another fall. But I doubt it will happen because it looks like this time we've fallen for the bread and circuses. Or at least just the circuses.
You = Idiot ?
Here's why...if you are absolutely convinced that you are not an idiot then chances are you're wrong. You simply lack the ability to see how much of an idiot you are. The big irony here is that the people that understand Socrates when he said that all he knew was that he knew nothing are not the people than need to worry about being idiots.
I could go on for days about this topic, but I'm just going to make a short You-Might-Be-An-Internet-Idiot-If checklist. If you do any of these things, then you might want to think about it.
Mirrorpic Mania
Action: Pose in a mirror, then snap a quick pic with your phone, pad or point-n-shoot to post online.
What you're thinking: Now people can see what I look like.
Reality check: Your photo probably says more about how dirty your house is. As an added bonus, it says "I don't have any friends to take my picture."
The "Artistic" Mirrorpic
Action: Using a nice camera, you take a black and white shot of you taking a picture.
What you're thinking: How avant garde!
Reality check: You have forgotten that the lousiest picture software in the world still lets you "flip" the picture horizontally, so all of the logos on your camera and clothes aren't backwards in your picture. Duh.
Webcam Wackyness
Action: You pose in front of your webcam to snap a picture to post.
What you're thinking: I don't look like those mirrorpic idiots.
Reality check: Webcams are the worst cameras in the world, often under one megapixel, with crappy quality. Once more, it says "I don't have any friends to take my picture."
Line-paper Doodler
Action: You draw a cool picture in your lined notebook, scan it, then post the scan.
What you're thinking: My art is awesome!
Reality check: No. If it really meant something to you, you'd find a way to get decent art materials and re-do the picture. Honestly, if you don't give that much care to your "art" then why should I?
Homonym Mix-up
Action: You don't know the difference between "there", "they're", and "their".
What you're thinking: That kind of stuff isn't important.
Reality check: Like the Doodler above, if you don't care about what you write, why should I? And if it doesn't matter then how come people like J. K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer have made so much money?
Autocorrect Abuse
Action: You just sent a text that says: "You can see what it means on Spanish Dick. OMG! I meant Spanish Dike!"
What you're thinking: Hilarious! I was trying to say "Spanish Dictionary".
Reality check: Your boss you texted that to is thinking they need to start looking for your replacement.
Misspelling on Purpose
Action: Spelling words like "Tha", "pwned", and "AW3S0M3!!1!"
What you're thinking: I am so l33t!
Reality check: Not if you misspell a lot of other words without meaning to. Which you do.
Pointless VLOGing
Action: You make a VLOG telling everyone about your day, your family, or your friend's new sweater.
What you're thinking: My face is on the Internet! It's like I have my own T.V. show!
Reality check: What you're really saying is: "Sorry, but I don't really have anything interesting that happens in my life. Maybe if I act melodramatic that will make up for my being dull."
Pointless Twit(ter)
Action: You Tweet: "I just had coffee! Yummers."
What you're thinking: I am connecting with the people I care about.
Reality check: No, you're not. If you don't get excited about when your mom says she did the dishes or your grandpa says he went to the bathroom, why should someone else get excited about your coffee?
Yahoo Answers Wahoo
Action: You need help solving a dilemma or answering a homework problem.
What you're thinking: Now I know what to do!
Reality check: The person who just answered your question wasn't an expert. It was a ten-year-old in Newark who was trolling you. The good news is you think alike and he doesn't have any real friends either.
Being on Facebook. At all.
Action: You use Facebook.
What you're thinking: Now I have my own web page. And I have hundreds of friends.
Reality check: Anyone who would use a service that steals your content, sells your information, and uses privacy invading software to track what you do online is either an idiot or a masochist. Chances are you're not a masochist. Plus, if you really had that many friends your social life would be much better.
Using Smileys
Action: You use those cute little smileys in your e-mails, texts, and...well, just about any time you can slip them into something you use them.
What you're thinking: What a cute way to express yourself.
Reality check: Using smileys is like walking into a bar and ordering a Shirley Temple. It might have been cute when you were twelve, but when you see anyone adult doing it then it's just kind of pathetic.
Gacking
Action: You copy news or articles someone else wrote into your work without giving them credit.
What you're thinking: That proves my point. Plus I didn't have to do so much work.
Reality check: A lot of stuff posted on the 'net is just crap someone pulled out of their ass with no real basis in reality. Even in "reliable" sites like Wiki. So how can you be sure you don't look like an idiot without using a bibliography? Plus, all someone has to do is a basic search to discover you stole it, then you look like an idiot and a theif.
P2P Sharing
Action: You download the latest movies and music from FrostWire, BearShare, BitTorrent, or another similar P2P setup.
What you're thinking: Free stuff! Bonus!
Reality check: Getting caught is not a matter of if, but when. The police don't care if you ever kept that video you downloaded six years ago. They just look at nailing you as another way to justify their jobs and companies like Turner and Fox can't wait to sue you. It makes them more money to sue you for thousands for a bad copy of a movie than they make if you bought the thing from Amazon used for four bucks. Plus, some law enforcement agencies slip in things like child porn into your downloads so they can nail you for that crime as well.
Chain E-mails
Action: Awww...what a cute and funny e-mail! I sure bet that would brighten my friend's day if I clicked "forward".
What you're thinking: There. That will let them know how much I love them.
Reality check: You love me enough to move your finger three times. Really, I'm flattered. What the hell ever happened to showing up at someone's house with a good bottle of alcohol or some food you just cooked and spending the next couple hours just enjoying good conversation? Yeah, moving your finger three times sure is an improvement on that tired routine.
I'm stopping here, because I have realized I really could just go on until this gets boring. Because idiots really are like watching the Three Stooges. It might be funny the first time you see it but when Moe has to come up with yet another excuse to poke Larry it starts getting tired. Honestly, though, I think the lesser irony here is that people that need this list the most will probably never read it. That's kind of funny. Kind of.