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Reporting on the top stories of last week, essentially meaning it's not really news because CNN now has devices that can report the news to your smartphone three hours before it actually happens.
Virginia: Dick Cheney, former Vice President, underwent a heart transplant granting him a few more years of precious life. Doctors say that the transplant was necessary as Cheney's last heart had become too black.
Pyongyang: North Korea declares it wants the United States to send it food. In exchange for this, it plans to launch a missile in the exact opposite direction of Washington D.C. That's not a joke. No, that's really their plan.
London: David Cameron thoroughly denies the statement by Peter Cruddas that a quarter-million pound donation can buy you access into political circles. A summary of Cameron's response was; "Politics does not cater to the rich, it has never catered to the rich, nor shall it ever cater to the rich."
Mexico: Ex-Nazi Pope Benedict visits this week and promises to help the country continue suppressing the rights of women and the LBGT community. In addition, he claims he plans to help stem the drug wars currently sweeping the nation. Possibly by forming a blow'n'weed for salvation exchange program.
Kandahar: The U.S. Military has declared; "We are truly sorry we gave a gun to a guy that the L.A. Times reports had a long history of alcoholism, violence, and abuse. Our bad. Here's $46,000 for each of the 17 people he murdered. Now go away."
Louisiana: CNN Projects that Rick Santorum has won the Bible Belt and will win the Republican nomination. Santorum claims: "I will do for the United States what I did for Pennsylvania." Pennsylvanians wince, remembering this was the guy that tried to remove the teaching of evolution in schools and who claimed President Kennedy's speech on the separation of Church and State "almost made him throw up."
Queen Charlotte Islands: A 60 meter long ship swept away by last years Tsunami in Japan was found to be floating off the west coast of Canada. Responding to this, Yoshihiko Noda and Stephen Harper have vowed to hammer out a free trade agreement. "We have concluded that both our societies are weird, but very friendly," both prime ministers said simultaneously.
Manchester: Queen Elizabeth II, as part of the Jubilee tour, gatecrashed the wedding of John and Frances Canning. No, I'm not making that up. How cool is that? The monarch yelled something about a "kegger" and then proceeded to pinch the groom's bum. Okay, that part I'm making up.
In corporate news, several pharmaceutical companies like AstraZeneca, Merck, and Targacept are declaring that antidepressants just aren't profitable anymore. "Frankly, we find this depressing, but we just have no clue as to how to deal with it right now. If only there was some kind of quick-fix...like a pill or something."
On wall street, conservative industrialists complained that President Obama is not doing his job to stimulate the economy. "The President has rebuilt the economy so that it's now mostly recovered from the crash caused by the previous administration. It is completely unacceptable to have a Democrat in office like this. Mark our words: Obamanomics will destroy us all."
In other business news, CitiBank is reducing it's holdings in Turkish company Akbank. Morgan Stanley Bank considers buying out CitiBank. London's NBNK banking conglomerate plans on buying Lloyds bank's holdings. Italy's Banca Monte has sold considerable parts of itself to J.P. Morgan and Credit Suisse banks, and a group of Bavarian banks has decided not to buy Bayerische Landesbank. All of this meaning absolutely nothing to 98% of the population that are starting to think that credit unions are starting to look better and better.
Virginia: Dick Cheney, former Vice President, underwent a heart transplant granting him a few more years of precious life. Doctors say that the transplant was necessary as Cheney's last heart had become too black.
Pyongyang: North Korea declares it wants the United States to send it food. In exchange for this, it plans to launch a missile in the exact opposite direction of Washington D.C. That's not a joke. No, that's really their plan.
London: David Cameron thoroughly denies the statement by Peter Cruddas that a quarter-million pound donation can buy you access into political circles. A summary of Cameron's response was; "Politics does not cater to the rich, it has never catered to the rich, nor shall it ever cater to the rich."
Mexico: Ex-Nazi Pope Benedict visits this week and promises to help the country continue suppressing the rights of women and the LBGT community. In addition, he claims he plans to help stem the drug wars currently sweeping the nation. Possibly by forming a blow'n'weed for salvation exchange program.
Kandahar: The U.S. Military has declared; "We are truly sorry we gave a gun to a guy that the L.A. Times reports had a long history of alcoholism, violence, and abuse. Our bad. Here's $46,000 for each of the 17 people he murdered. Now go away."
Louisiana: CNN Projects that Rick Santorum has won the Bible Belt and will win the Republican nomination. Santorum claims: "I will do for the United States what I did for Pennsylvania." Pennsylvanians wince, remembering this was the guy that tried to remove the teaching of evolution in schools and who claimed President Kennedy's speech on the separation of Church and State "almost made him throw up."
Queen Charlotte Islands: A 60 meter long ship swept away by last years Tsunami in Japan was found to be floating off the west coast of Canada. Responding to this, Yoshihiko Noda and Stephen Harper have vowed to hammer out a free trade agreement. "We have concluded that both our societies are weird, but very friendly," both prime ministers said simultaneously.
Manchester: Queen Elizabeth II, as part of the Jubilee tour, gatecrashed the wedding of John and Frances Canning. No, I'm not making that up. How cool is that? The monarch yelled something about a "kegger" and then proceeded to pinch the groom's bum. Okay, that part I'm making up.
In corporate news, several pharmaceutical companies like AstraZeneca, Merck, and Targacept are declaring that antidepressants just aren't profitable anymore. "Frankly, we find this depressing, but we just have no clue as to how to deal with it right now. If only there was some kind of quick-fix...like a pill or something."
On wall street, conservative industrialists complained that President Obama is not doing his job to stimulate the economy. "The President has rebuilt the economy so that it's now mostly recovered from the crash caused by the previous administration. It is completely unacceptable to have a Democrat in office like this. Mark our words: Obamanomics will destroy us all."
In other business news, CitiBank is reducing it's holdings in Turkish company Akbank. Morgan Stanley Bank considers buying out CitiBank. London's NBNK banking conglomerate plans on buying Lloyds bank's holdings. Italy's Banca Monte has sold considerable parts of itself to J.P. Morgan and Credit Suisse banks, and a group of Bavarian banks has decided not to buy Bayerische Landesbank. All of this meaning absolutely nothing to 98% of the population that are starting to think that credit unions are starting to look better and better.
Devious Journal Entry
Aside from Selfish
Scrawls in the Sand:
A
poem for Candice
by Gregory Killam
One night I dreamed you
were walking along
the beach with the lord.
Rainbows from your lips
splashed scenes from
your life across the sky.
(In each scene I sort of
kind of noticed
footprints in the sand.)
Each new technicolor
scene was viscous
runny with fresh
printer's ink, hot from
the pipe dream presses.
Every pageant was
raw and wet and
could still change it's
underlying shape
as if
as if you had
you had maybe not
wanted to complete the
picture. Act. Don't say
cut
just
yet.
Leave room for the
clouds.
Leave room for the
black
Blindsided by Blindness
It's hard to believe I've been inactive for so long. I honestly hope not much has changed in the core of this site's purpose: What makes Deviant Art great.
But I feel like I owe people an explanation for not being around for more than a year.
For those of you who are in the know, sorry if I'm repeating myself, but late in 2009 I was on my bicycle when I was struck by a construction van. The driver said he “just didn't see me.” It resulted in permanent nerve damage.
Sure, that's slowed me down, but what finally stopped me...well...to be blunt, I was going blind.
Blindness. For a photographer, painter, woodworker and writer, tha
Three Things That Hunger Games Proves
Tomorrow, the anticipated release of the Hunger Games comes to theaters all over the U.S.A. While fans line up to buy tickets for an early 2012 blockbuster, what does the Hunger Games show us about ourselves?
1)We have lost the ability to protest.
Once upon a time great civil rights leaders walked through our streets and city halls. Whether you're talking about politicians like Thurgood Marshall or common men like Petey Green they accomplished great things with their words, demolishing injustice in their wake. Did last year's "Occupy" protests achieve anything else by comparison? It was more or less a grouple of angry people shouting:
"Wha
You = Idiot ?
Have you ever asked yourself: "Am I an idiot?" If not, you should.
Here's why...if you are absolutely convinced that you are not an idiot then chances are you're wrong. You simply lack the ability to see how much of an idiot you are. The big irony here is that the people that understand Socrates when he said that all he knew was that he knew nothing are not the people than need to worry about being idiots.
I could go on for days about this topic, but I'm just going to make a short You-Might-Be-An-Internet-Idiot-If checklist. If you do any of these things, then you might want to think about it.
Mirrorpic Mania
Action: Pose in a mirror, the
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